if you go to a restaurant knowing that you have a food allergy and will die if you come in contact with that allergy – you are an idiot!
stay home. dont go out to eat.
ever.
your not very smart, are you mother, for bringing your child to a restaurant knowing that your precious little darling has a food allergy and WILL die if the darling child comes into contact with that allergen.
this is just some more shit that i dont know were to put on my computer:
i want to smoke so bad that i cant even see straight! and its been months now!
its five in the morning on sunday morning and im not up waiting on football or waiting on the lottery or waiting on a kid to get home or waiting on a door to slam in my face, but i sort of feel like im waiting on all of it. its not sad but its weird. weird in the way that those things that you dont want to happen actually do come around, and they have a way of happening anyway, no matter how you feel.
and i might be the biggest dumbass in the world.
or an idiot.
i really can hate. i mean not just dislike, or not even think very highly of, but actual down to earth raw hate. people, i mean. its not a trait of mine that i think very much about, because it is just one of those things that “is”. its like : “i have some gray hair”. ok, thats me. or: ” need to go to work tomorrow”. it just is what it is. its a fact. and i understand it. it makes it very very easy to make decisions, i will tell you what! its like that thing in the back of your mind that keeps saying: “i need to eat! i need to eat!” and not until you finally put that cheezeburger into your mouth and chew it and swallow it do you understand that it is THAT easy to hate someone. its simple, really. you dont care what the person looks like, you dont care what the thing thinks, you dont care what the thing says! its great! i hate this thing and i dont have to have a reason! such freedom!
and for all you folks out there that are going: “what the fuck,man? thats not right!”. and the other: “does your mom know this about you?”. and oh yea, the classic: ” Jesus wouldnt like this”.
all i have to say is that Jesus knows about my feelings. trust me. and your an idiot.
you might be an idiot if you fuck with a flight attendant.
why do people outside of the service industry – which pretty much every job in this world consists of the service industry – think that the “service industry” is only people that wait on you?
dont we all wait on each other? arent all our jobs related somehow to each others jobs in one way or the other, and thus saying that EVERYTHING one does as a living is directly related to someone elses livelyhood?
and you might be an idiot if you dont think so.
you might be an idiot if you dont take this moment in time to reflect on your actions the next time you are in a restaurant, or an airplane, or a church, or at a movie.
please dont be an idiot. idiots arent cool!
your not an idiot after all! you really are just plain ‘ol fuckin’ crazy. i mean, i had to call the cops on you BECAUSE of you.
i really have nothing to say on this other than its sad and i feel bad for you and your family. you really are just a crazy person running amuck out in the streets – like a zombie or something looking for somebody to eat.
and thats all i have to say. except that you do need to find some assistance with the things going on in your head. and thats all.
but also one more thing: you were helped so very much! what happened? why did you go crazy and zombie like – what with all the running amuck in the streets?
i pray you find peace, person. and thats all i have to say.
all right, so you mumbled under your breath AGAIN! something that im sure was just absolutely brilliant. something that would just put you on the top of the food chain and really get you that raise and that position that you so really do deserve. but i couldnt hear you that well because you mmmmmuuuummbbbldddddd what you where trying to say. it reminded me very much of what i know about zombie speak: mumbles and grunts and half spoken words coming from someone who is dead.
or sort of dead, depending on how you look at it. and then there is always the out side chance that you are really just an idiot, which is better than being a damn zombie! you know? going around sort of dead and biting peoples heads to suck brains out and all that shit……!
and then your buddy came into the office and decided that he wanted to scream and scream at the top of his lungs and proclaim to the gods that he isnt a zombie – but then he suddenly ran out of the enclosed space, waiving his arms over his head and running around the parking lot. i find that strange. dumbass, zombie, or stupidity? i dont know – but it disturbs me. and it is strange, especially because this person that goes by the name of a table condiment seems that nothing is wrong with screaming and waiving arms up in the air when in conversation with a real live person.
strange. i would rather deal with zombies than idiots……….
(and except for the “zombies” – the rest of the above is fucking true! and hilarious in real life!)
how come some of the best servers ive ever had the pleasure of waiting on me or working with me – dont get it when all i want to do is eat and not fucking talk? i dont understand it. especially if im by myself. i mean really, i came in by myself to eat with myself and have a beer and a read with myself to be by myself. you might think i want to be by myself, right? or can you not understand that i am ignoring you? i really only want some damn chicken and some damn corn on the damn cob and a damn beer and my newspaper that is NOT AN ELECTRONIC NEWSPAPER, THANK YOU VERY MUCH! IT IS REAL PAPER AND INK, and just please go away and stop talking to me. i dont care about your kid, i dont care about your mother with the broke hip, and i certainly dont care about your new boyfriend who really likes your kid and your mother with the damn broke hip. who fucking cares!? just get me another beer, dumb ass, because i have succeeded in gulping the entire beer i had in front of me just so you would get the point and go away. dumb ass!
and please just let me remind you of this one thing: if im not looking at you while you talk about absolutely nothing for over 10 seconds, everything coming out of your face is annoying to me, and you are getting very close to being branded an idiot. i mean really, for Gods sake and the book of Brian! just let me have some silence!
he man! you over there! yes you! the one cussing me under your breath because im your boss and you think you can do this job better than me. well step up dick head! and get some balls and speak your mind OUT LOUD! or, and heres just a thought: go away you idiot!
and yes, washing dishes and bussing tables is by far one of the hardest jobs in the food industry. and it doesnt mean that you are an idiot for doing it, so dont think you are. however, dont think for one second that just because you wash dishes for a month, and then work in the kitchen for a week or two, and this is your first time working in a restaurant, that you could actually RUN the place! not after only 2 months of being on staff. for Gods sakes man! what, are you Albert Fucking Einstein himself? and you want a raise on top of that??!! for what reason are you owed a raise, please do tell? because you want my job? i do have my suspicions that you are a bit “touched” , and by “touched” i mean crazy, and i think you do need to go away. and are you an idiot? or do you need medication?
and all you customers out there who think everyone needs to love your stupid little dog as much as you do: please go the hell away because YOU ARE AN IDIOT! NO QUESTION! no one wants your stupid dog on the patio while all of us other grown ups sit and watch your mean little dog snarl and bark at everything in sight! and your dog is stupid! damn stupid dog! damn stupid person who thought it was a brilliant idea to bring the stupid dog into a restaurant! AND YES, THE RESTAURANT PATIO IS STILL THE RESTAURANT EVEN IF IT IS OUTSIDE. idiot. you must go.
and lets just get this out of the way: if you think you can keep fucking up and then say sorry after each fuck-up, stop. just stop. if you were raised catholic, i can get the reasoning behind it. but its not working.and stop breaking the plates so you dont have to wash them, stop stealing the beer because you are an inch away from being fired,and stop standing in the dinning room and saying in your very outside voice that you hate this place. you just look stupid, really you do.
damn idiots.
i bought my wife a new addition to the kitchen. it was something i didnt know she wanted, but it came out the other day during dinner with the kids. a food processor. something simple and easy. it was also a very early birthday gift. daughter admitted she wanted one as well, or a bread maker machine, but didnt have the counter space right now for anything extra. turns out, after my incident last night, daughter is going to be getting a set of spoons – not anything even remotely sharp!
it was simple: daughter comes down to sitting room and asks me help her set up the NEW food processor. not a problem, im thinking. i go up stairs and take it out of the box and even say out loud : ” now this thing can cut the shit out of you, so be careful of this.” and then a few seconds later i say: ” im sort of a food processor virgin, i just always use my knives.” im a chef, and have been for a long time. i can slice and dice and mince and prance with the best of them. i dont need a damn machine to do anything! and im arrogant. but anyway, i get everything together and daughter and i take turns at deciding how chopped the shit in the bowl needs to be, and i will be damned if i didnt reach for THE OTHER SHARP BLADE and cut the shit out of one of the fingers on my left hand. the same blade i put to the side just to keep it out of the way because i knew it was so damn sharp! so later on, and seriously this is stupid, but i reach for the same blade AGAIN! with the other hand.
and i just got home from the doctors office with 8 stiches in my thumb. i knew it was bad at the time, but not this bad the next morning! it was a cut so deep into my thumb, and sideways at that, that the doctor was even: “i didnt know it was that deep”. it was 1/4 to 1/2 inches deep into the pad of my thumb. and of course on the part were i grab stuff.
and so, i might be an idiot, like everyone else who has a big head in the kitchen.
but i swear!, i wasnt doing anything but reaching for the new blade! which i got out of the way because i knew it was sharp to begin with. so now im relegated to no shower for 24 hours, and antibiotics, and a huge white cloth bandage on my thumb, like im holding up a diaper while hitching a ride and i have this diaper draped over my stuck out thumb as if im waving a flag of surrender.
but now we have a cool new machine and i know i can get out of kitchen duty when ever it will be used. sort of.
just explain to me why you – person – think you are intitled to a prestigious position in my company? you know that i know and i know that you know that i know you dont really care about the work that you are supposed to do. your milking money from my company – person. and i know it and you know it. and you might be an idiot if you dont have a back up plan for another job.
and all of you people that are using coupin’s to make the bill smaller and collecting the extra money off the discounted bill? your fucking kidding yourself, and you are an idiot.
and please dont come to me ONE MORE TIME and apolgize for being an idiot! because you finally realize that you have a baby to feed and you are kissing my ass to get more shifts, which i can only schedule you for, and you know what? im really tired of having my ass kissed, idiots! just to get what you want.
im not doing it anymore. i wont work those shifts you dont want to work, i wont try to cover those shifts you dont want to work – and i wont give you more shifts when i know you are just going to give them up behind my back. fuckers. and when you call at 9: 30 in the a.m. wanting a phone number from some damn body on the phone list – im going to hang up on your ass. im not the idiot, but you might be.
